SEPARATION ANXIETY

I kept hearing about separation anxiety in babies and I always thought somehow that it happens when you leave him/her in nursery or with someone else for a longer period of time during the day.

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Little did I know about it. I am taking Ruby to nursery two days a week so I can go work and although they keep telling me she is doing so well I still have the feeling that during the day she has sad moments. And this is because every time she sees me at the end of the day she gets desperate and starts crying until I pick her up. It is so cute when I think my little one misses me but in the same time, after my full day of work and the long journey home I want to come to a sleeping baby so I can kiss her forehead and tell her how much I love her or if she is not asleep I want to see her smile, hear her babbles and have a bit of play time before bed. Her definition of I missed you mummy is different than mine. She shows me she missed me by crying her eyes out, lifting her tiny hands desperately and getting louder and louder if I dare do something else but take her in my arms (why would I take off my shoes or my shitty work clothes).
I am waiting for couple of her teeth to come out for about five days already. These suckers take looonnnnggg 😳
Since the teething process started all her emotions went out the rooftop. She slept in my arms only, cried if I dared trying to put her in bed or leave the room even. And I am still standing.

My eyes are closing, my stomach hurts and I am not sure how long will my back be able to carry her around the house 

Today I just received an email from one of the baby websites I signed up back when I was pregnant. Guess what it said? They wanted to inform me that ” for most babies separation anxiety peaks between 10 to 18 months and eases up by 2 years.

Most commonly, separation anxiety strikes when you leave your child to go to work or run an errand. Your baby can also experience separation anxiety at night, safely tucked in her crib with you right in the next room. Separation anxiety usually eases by the time babies are about 24 months old. Yes, to a degree. Separation anxiety is a normal stage of emotional development that starts when babies begin to understand that things and people exist even when they’re not present – a concept called object permanence.

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At certain stages, most babies or toddlers will show true anxiety and become upset at the prospect – or reality – of being separated from a parent. If you think about separation anxiety in evolutionary terms, it makes sense: A defenceless baby would naturally get upset over being taken away from the person who protects and cares for him.”

So yeah. Why didn’t anyone tell me this before? The mum clan is mean. They hid this from me. They thought “if we went through this why wouldn’t you bitch?” Well, I thought we help each other with advice and passing clothes from one baby to another but instead we forget to mention some very important things like separation anxiety when your baby is over 10 months old up to 24. Am I in for another 15 months of this crap? God, no!!! Please. Make my baby understand that sleep is something we all need and in a bed not in the arms of mummy, make her understand that my back is only the one of a human and not superwoman.

Because me and her are so attached to each other she started suffering from anxiety at night time as well. She is ill and this makes everything worse. I have to hold her, rock her, walk around the house with her and end up on a rocking chair with her in my arms at two in the morning sleeping with my head tilted on one side and my legs numb praying for a proper lay down and trying to make her understand that mummy will never leave her. She is just close by, in her bed, sleeping and worrying about her baby even in her sleep.

How can you make a nine months old understand things as complicated as this? She barely got to understand the meaning of NO related to slapping my face and pulling my hair. The last one is still hilarious for her as I scream in pain and she laughs at me thinking I am playing a game 

I am wondering if there is a miraculous potion I can use to cure separation anxiety. She seemed to adjust to nursery quite quick. She only gets grumpy around the time she has to be picked up. She sees parents with their babies and remembers that that is not her house and she wants to go home. She cries if anyone tells her good bye and won’t stop until she sees me. It is a form of separation anxiety as well only mild in this case. It is worst at home when I can barely leave the room, not acknowledge her for more than fifteen minutes and hold her hand or lately hold her while she sleeps.

So dear parents out there I am asking you what did you do? How did your child got over this stage? Did you do anything special?

I would most definitely like to know as I am in great need of help.

LET’S END UP WITH A SONG. I AM STILL POSITIVE 🙂

 

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2 thoughts on “SEPARATION ANXIETY”

  1. Upon reading this blog, I remember the times when my sister who actually is a mom, not I…happened to leave her baby to me. She has to work in the morning and I in the afternoon. The advice that I can give to her to avoid separation anxiety by my baby niece would be by leaving her clothes she wore last night by her side so she could smell her mom and at the same time think that her mom is still beside her. This is really very effective. Never the baby even realized that it was I who was taking care of her the whole morning.

    Liked by 1 person

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