WHEN THE “F” WORD IS ALL YOU GOT

Every Thursday at 11:30 we are busy. It is the time for Ruby to have her play time with other babies, explore and develop her social skills and the time  for mummy to learn how to give her a proper massage. I met some interesting people here and probably some I’ll keep in touch with. I met germ freak mummy who wipes everything and uses antibacterial gel so much that her hands are so dry no cream can cure; chaos mummy – the one who’s got no idea what she’s doing, where her keys and phone are and  she takes ages to get her baby undressed and forever to get ready for the simplest of activities; I met the annoying know-it-all mum who gives advice to everyone even if not asked, the one who knows everything better than a doctor or a health visitor, the one who’s baby is the best in everything and the most advanced in development; I met clueless mummy who is crying out of everything and makes me think Google is useless for some people or that some still don’t know how to read. And I met normal mum as well, the one who looks like she is in control of everything but tells you straight that she’s sometimes losing it completely or that she does have moments when she’s got no idea what she’s doing and cries herself to sleep hoping things will sort out somehow. The thing is although some are so annoying we all have something in common: we are mums and the most important thing in our lives is keeping our babies safe.
During our baby club yesterday one of the babies was a bit ill. He had the flu actually. Proper flu with runny nose and coughs.

flu

He wasn’t near Ruby so I thought there won’t be any risk for my baby to get sick. I didn’t think much of it at the time and got on with talking about our birth experience, milestones and what our babies have been doing in the past week, what is new and what they stopped doing –Ruby was proper scratching her forehead and it was pissing me off seeing her skin get so red and irritated. She stopped all of a sudden and made me so happy. One of the kids was sucking his thumb to sooth and he just stopped as well last week and another one stopped pulling his hair. – this is what we all talk about and time flies. Thursdays are our days. Mothers complaining or showing off with their little ones, recognising failure or feeling proud of the smallest thing the monkey done, admitting wine and coffee are their best friends and complaining about their partners not doing enough. Most of the times I sit and listen and other times I join in ranting about everything. The thing is I would probably have lots to say and I will most probably complain about not knowing what to do or being scared of doing something wrong with my munchkin but I don’t want to. Not all the the time at least. I mean I am not that close with them and I prefer to keep my business to myself sometimes. I only talk about what Ruby does and if she eats properly or if I should start on solids or just keep it milk for a little longer. I hate talking about my relationship problems. We always solve them so better to just stay in between our walls. If they go any further I will face the judge squad and I am in no mood for it. All mums judge other mums, their ability to parent, their home issues and their relationship existent or non existent misunderstandings. I refuse to be that just cause I judge enough as it is and I am judged enough as well.
The thing is yesterday was the first day when we all looked at each other and said the F word like singing a song. It was all we had as a reaction to what we have been told: the toys our babies play with every Thursday are never washed, sterilised or cleaned in any way. Explanation? Speechless: your babies have a normal immune system so they need to build resistance to all germs around. No shit! So if one baby has the flu or God forbid chicken pox or any other transmissible disease, my little one has to get it so she can get strong. Shut the F up woman! No way. I mean I am no freak control or germ freak but what are we talking about. I took the toy out of Ruby’s hand, wiped her tiny fingers and tried to calm her disappointment by shoving the dummy in her mouth. Slowly slowly I seen all mums doing the same and starting to invent reasons for their early leave. One of the mums offered to take all toys and wash them but she just hit a brick wall: there are other classes for other babies so they use the toys as well. OMG. WTF. It is just getting worse. I mean I seen the babies in our class and i met their mums and they all seem clean but I wouldn’t share the same water bottle with everyone like I know they wouldn’t either. So why would our babies share those unwashed toys? I have issues as it is. I refuse giving Ruby my phone thinking there are too many germs on it. I might be overreacting but what happened yesterday put me on the edge. This morning my munchkin was coughing and her nose was runny. I gave her a dose of Calpol but my hands are tight. She only wants to be in my arms, she hums continuously like she wants to sleep and I know this is her sign of not feeling well. Good luck to me now. I just pray things won’t go worse as I will kill those people.
And as a mum I am back to square one looking for play dates. No more baby club from now on. Am I too drastic? I will miss the conversations and baby atmosphere but I don’t want to get my baby sick. I prefer the loneliness and having a healthy baby. And to be honest I feel like there are some mummy bloggers out there who I can always turn to and find a friend in.

SONG OF THE DAY:

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2 thoughts on “WHEN THE “F” WORD IS ALL YOU GOT”

  1. Hi Alina! That’s such a bummer. I can’t believe they don’t clean them. I would feel the same as you. It’s tough because on one hand, children get germs everywhere and we can’t shield them 24/7. But at the same time, it’s our job to protect them. Such a tough call. I hope your little one feels better. And as for your decision, you need to do what’s best for you and your daughter so I say trust your instinct!

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  2. Thank you Diane. I know I can’t protect her from absolutely everything but I guess I was really shocked by the not washing part as baby club is at the children’s centre and I thought different. It is hard but as long as little munchkin is fine I am fine as well

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