Sounds amazing. I always tried to stick by this saying. I mean I hate clutter, I hate old stuff in the house, specially things you know you’ll never going to use again and just keep there for old times sake. Just recently I threw away two IKEA bags full of clothes that will never ever fit me but I kept for a while just hoping I could wear them again one more time. Last time I tried them on I got depressed. I once was a size 8 and everything fitted me nicely. Now, I am a 10, sometimes 12. Depends on the brand. When I see 12 though is like the little devil on my shoulder is jumping with joy calling me a fat cow who can’t get herself to exercise and lose the baby belly and ass fat she is left with.
On the other shoulder rests the tiny angel who gave up on trying to convince me that I am just fine as I am. He’s got a bored expression on his face and just turned his back on me defeated by that small smiling devil.
But never mind that. End of the day I always felt so much better after throwing shit out the house. In a way it made me feel like I am starting a new chapter in my life, things are going to get better and a bright future awaits me. I could see the big bright light in which my life is projected. All pink clouds, happiness and lots of money so I can buy a house. It is all there every time I clean my closet or the house.
Not today though. I woke up this morning ready to have my coffee and get Ruby ready for the baby massage classes. She is almost six months now and we are at that stage when 3-6 months clothes are small and 6-9 are a bit too big so finding an outfit is a challenge lately. I got so pissed off I took everything out. A pile of baby clothes were lying on the floor and my little one was giggling next to me while chewing on Sophie the giraffe. I took all clothes one by one trying to sort out what to still keep and what goes in the storage for the next little munchkin. Sadness and nostalgia got over me.
I could remember how she looked in each and every outfit and I couldn’t believe she won’t wear them anymore. My baby is not such a baby anymore. It was like yesterday I came home with her wearing that I love mummy and daddy sleep suit from mother care. She couldn’t hold her head and she was all dependent on me. I can remember the first time I dressed her up. She had a cute denim dress with a red body suit underneath and tights. I put on a red bow on her head and she was absolutely adorable. I can’t even dream of her wearing that dress anymore. Aawwww…or that day when she had the knee length jeans, Lamaze socks and a beautiful top on. I loved those trousers so so much. So many adorable outfits. Now she only shouts at me. She plays by herself discovering new things every day. Her curiosity knows no boundaries and I am amazed every day by what she can do. Today she sucked on her toes for the first time, she proper held her milk bottle, lifted her hands to reach the monkey on top of her bouncer and sat on the bed without any support. All new things she done today. My heart filled with joy and I was so proud of her. She is trying to crawl now and we’ll soon go on solids. She goes to bed by herself most of the times and she started loving her toys, playing and talking to them in a language she only knows.
Such mixed feelings for me in only a day. Sadness and happiness overwhelmed me. I don’t know what to feel anymore. New set of clothes filled her closet and I already have my favourites but I will always remember how cute she was in those tiny tiny outfits. Her clothes are getting bigger and bigger now and it’s only normal to get her dressed in girly outfits whereas before it was easy to guess she’s a girl just by noticing those head bands or the pink blankets and toys. So many times she was confused with a boy just because she has a full head of hair.
My baby is growing so quick and I am still stuck in that bubble thinking I have so much time left before going to work and she is still so tiny and needy. I still remember those days when we were trying to make her take the dummy and now after four months we are trying to take it away from her. How things change. So so quick. These first six months of may baby’s life gave me so much but they went too quick. She turned into this socialite, interacting with just about anyone coming her way. The only thing that makes me still have that mummy I need you feeling is when she holds her arms up high so I can pick her up.
So out with the old and in with the new again. Forget about those first outfits, smiles and giggles. Get ready for new milestones, new sounds, behavior, crawling and independence. Be brave mummy. Stop being such a loser. Put all those beautiful moments in the smiley memory box and prepare to make others. Baby is growing and you are getting old. Hold on to memories and live every moment like it’s your last one. Treasure every little new thing and enjoy those tiny feet and curious hands exploring your face. These are times will never get back
SONG OF THE DAY: mummy likes the 80’s