Once you become a mother your life changes forever. You no longer live for yourself but for that tiny human being you created. But you are still you and you still have a life, you still need some quality me time although from hours it turned into couple of minutes with yourself.
When I first held my baby I thought that I will never want anything else. but. It was the adrenaline talking for me. It was magic and I believed in it.
But time goes by, you get into a routine and sometimes you don’t stop and breath for days, you forget you have a brain and have to use it. Slowly slowly you develop addictions that help you get by on daily basis, they become your ME moments that you treasure so much. Most of them revolve around your child but they are your joy. They become those precious moments that you would never exchange for anything in the world.
The thing that keeps my sanity is writing and I am glad I finally got back to it after such a long time. Sometimes I do it while holding my sleepy baby. I smell her hair and watch her. So peaceful, so beautiful. God, if I could bottle that baby smell and make it a perfume I think all mums would buy it. I’ll get some extra cash as well. Much needed when your maternity pay is less and less significant.
So there, two of my addictions in just one moment. I write and hold my baby while she sleeps feeling so content. This is one of those times when my happiness cannot be described in words. I do what I love most and and it’s just me spending some time with myself.
Somewhere on the top of the addiction list is rocking myself like I do when I want Ruby to fall asleep faster. We rock together and it takes few minutes for her to get to dream land. Problem is I started doing it while having grown up conversations. I done it in a Costa Coffee, at my friends house, in my own house while having people over and in the park while reading a book. It feels so natural that I almost forget I look like a crazy person in front of the world.
Along with the good addictions come the bad ones. I never appreciated a cup of hot coffee like I do since Ruby was born. Always loved it but took it for granted. Like it’s there for me without much effort. Now having few sips of coffee without it getting cold is a luxury. My five star moment of the day along with an occasional glass of wine after baby is asleep. How I crave these two drinks. Probably as much as a drug addict loves his powders.
I think all mothers develop some sort of obsession after birth. Mine is with cleaning products and wipes. I Dettol the entire house and wipes have multipurpose. They don’t just clean my baby but my house as well. They dust my furniture, clean my stairs and window sills, my flower pots and sometimes the wooden floors.
After this comes the constant need to buy clothes and toys. I feel like Ruby never has enough of them although the house is full and at only four months old she doesn’t need many. But it’s part of my addictive nature and I can’t fight it.
So yes. Hello. My name is Alina and I am an addict. If you add the mummy blogs to all the above you get a clear picture. And this is only the beginning. I wonder what next? What will it be after I’ll have my second baby? Cause I want another one. Did I mention it before? No. Will do. In another post.
Until than I keep wondering if there is an antidote that can cure mummy addictions or this is just one of those things you have to live with for the rest of your life.
SONG OF THE DAY: (Ruby’s favourite and probably my new ringtone pretty soon)